Can we make friends in social networks and online communities
15th June 2009, 03:16 pm by Matt Rhodes
Image by coleydude via FlickrSome people follow me on Twitter, where I invariably write about work-related things and my interests in social media, marketing, branding, online and such like. Other people are friends with me on Facebook, where they get to know what I did this weekend, can see pictures of me in a bar in East London and know all about my upcoming holiday plans. Still more people are contacts on LinkedIn where they know when I change job roles, qualifications or publications and speaking engagements.
I use each of these three social networks for different reasons. And different people follow me on them. Because of the nature the sites, and the people that follow me I talk about different things and so somebody following me on any of them only gets to see one part of my life. This is probably true of everybody online and is the reasons that many people question whether you can really make friends or get to know people online, in social networks or online communities.
The question of whether you can really become friends with somebody probably depends on individuals and their own personal concept of friendship. Perhaps the more useful question is whether we can really get to know people online.
This is certainly something that we discuss a lot with clients at FreshNetworks when designing online communities for clients – should a particular community allow members to become ‘friends’ with each other or not, should it allow them to ‘follow’ other members. We often debate whether this kind of function is valuable, and whilst it isn’t in all cases, in many it is. Why? Because online communities are about ideas and shared experiences. They are places where people share their thoughts and opinions, they share something of themselves and so people can connect through these ideas. You can read what people say and learn what they are interested in, care about, think and do. We actually get to know an awful lot about them.
So in online communities, at least, it is possible to get to know people quite well, particularly as concerns the subject area of the particular online community. Whether you become friends with these people probably depends on your own criteria for friendship.
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Patricia Ooi:
Very good post. It’s indeed possible to know other community members quite well by studying their profiles, postings (both in topics related to the online community and offtopics like what’s your occupation, where are you from, where did you went in your last summer holiday …). In most cases, the more the community members share about themselves, the better we’re able to get to know them. In the community I manage, some members even do local meetup themselves.
Patricia @arthurwill
15 June 2009, 5:09 pmJanice Pearson:
People need to broaden their horizons, think outside the box, stretch their paradigms and all other cliches apply. Friendships come in many forms. The ways to make friends and engage people come in many forms. We all choose how we represent ourselves to others. I like to think I’m a wysiwyg kinda gal but I’m sure I show different sides to different people, or at least different people will see different sides of me. Who we are online is often a more ‘naked’ persona, stripped of physicality – and we may dare to share more than we would in real life. I embrace it all really. From the penpals of my youth, to the phone pals, email pals and social media pals of my adulthood; they all add to my experience of people and of life.
15 June 2009, 5:14 pmTo ‘friend’ or to ‘follow’ - connecting with people online | FreshNetworks Blog:
[...] « Can we make friends in social networks and online communities [...]
16 June 2009, 11:37 pmMatt Rhodes:
@Patricia
Agree – the beauty of online communities is that you can get to know people through their thoughts, ideas and contributions and so find people that are interesting and useful to you.
Matt
17 June 2009, 6:54 amMatt Rhodes:
@Janice,
I know many people who would treat those they have met in an online community as a friend – somebody they are interested in and care about. In fact it’s interesting to watch the dynamics at play here. A recent experience in one of our online communities saw 50 members become bloggers – they became so close that when one had a family crisis the others rallied round on the site to support her. A great example of how you can get to know people online.
Matt
17 June 2009, 6:56 ampprlisa:
People ask me this question a lot – and I tell them, it really is true, you can develop very close friendships with people you meet on social networks. My sister actually did this in forums over ten years ago and still has these friends. I joined Twitter in October of 2007 and “met” many people. I have since met most of them in person and have developed very close friendships with several of them – I consider some to be the closest I’ve ever had in my life. I am in my 40s, I am single with kids and work from home – I don’t have a ton of opportunities to meet people with the same interests, so this has been a godsend to me. Sure, I’ve met some crazies, but that can happen in person as well.
17 June 2009, 11:47 am